Written by Mary
It has been a rough couple weeks here in Lenaburgland. Miss Courtney’s seizures have returned to their previous levels of a daily occurrence. The car decided that now would be the perfect time to go kaput, requiring some serious repair work to the tune of a mortgage payment. The kitchen sink exploded in my hands last week and then this morning, I discovered that the glass electric cooktop has shattered like a spiderweb. I feel like the universe is conspiring against me and my checkbook.
It’s like everything we owned got together and decided on a breakdown schedule that would produce the most amount of stress for my husband and I. I tell you–It’s working. I walk around my house on eggshells these days for fear of something else breaking.
Where is the JOY??
What’s a girl to do when everything around her is literally falling apart and her brand new skirt won’t zip because she is inhaled a few too many calories trying to deal with the emotional distress from said world falling apart??
- Eat? Oh, my dear friends…there is some emotional overeating going on to soothe this savage menopausal beast. This is not the most productive thing to spend my time on and it really doesn’t help in the long run but it is my go to coping mechanism, so you do what you know to do.
- Pray? Sure I am praying constantly these days. “Dear God what are you trying to do to me here?” Dear God, what else can go wrong?” “Dear God…are you serious?”. Oh yes there is prayer of the persistent begging and pleading variety and it seems to be falling on deaf ears.
- Whine? Cry? Complain? All-the-time and it is a sight to behold. I mean it’s not often that a 45 year old woman is brought to her knees by a splintering glass stove top. Grand-mal seizures? You bet. Broken appliances? This is a first.
As I was typing this column, wondering where it was all going, the Holy Spirit inspired me for a moment to look at the quote on the header of my personal blog. It’s a quote from my father. He was not a perfect man but he had his moments of great wisdom and this was one of them.
“Never quit. Never give up. Never lose your faith! It’s the one reason you walk this earth. For God chose this time and place just for you. So make the most of it.”
William J. Green, Jr.
That’s a lot to take in you know. Apparently God chose to allow these things to happen to draw me closer to Him. To force me to rely in Him and His provision for my family and not just what I can do on my own. This quote is a good reminder to me that these little annoyances (or big fat ones depending on your caffeine levels) are just that…annoyances.
They are also opportunities for grace. How have I chosen to respond to this stress?
Being brutally honest my friends…it’s been pretty ugly around here.
How many times have I lost my temper over one of these things? Two million four hundred and seventy five…at least.
How many times have I yelled at my husband about these little things? Too many to keep count. Oh yeah…I am that wife.
Have I responded to the additional financial pressure with trust in God’s provision or am I not sleeping worrying about how it will all get done? I’ll let you guess which one I have done repeatedly for the last three nights.
You would think with everything I have been through in my life I would have this part down by now.
Yep…you would think.
But alas my friends, I am a lowly sinful human who is still learning to do that little thing called…trust.
When storms come into our lives–whether they be financial, spiritual, emotional or physical, we need to take a deep breath and remember who we are in Christ. We are daughter and sons of the Most High King. There is nothing he can’t do for us or with us. He is the Alpha and Omega of appliance repair and prime provider of financial security. The one thing he asks of me…is trust.
Trust in HIS plan.
Trust in HIS provision.
Trust in HIS love and guidance.
“For God chose this time and place just for me…” so now I need to make the most of these moments leaning into Him for HIS wisdom and TRUST that in the end all will be well.
So bring on the ultimate repair man…Jesus Christ. I hear He is a great carpenter…taught by the very best.
The Joy Journey is a weekly series on Fine Linen and Purple by Mary. Stop by here each Friday for a fresh perspective on living the joyful life!